Kroger bathroom

I've been doing a little cooking lately. Last night I made Szechuan Chicken from my Sandra Lee's 20 Minute Semi-homemade Meals book. I didn't do too badly (but I must say that this DID take longer than 20 minutes - ah hem). Joe left me alone in the kitchen to prepare the meal, and I know it was killing him. He finally came in to fix brown rice. His curiosity was killing him, and he's always made it known that the kitchen was his turf, not mine. I'm not much of a chef, and Joe tends to think that the kitchen is no place for me. I prove him wrong every now and again, but he does teach me a thing or two.

The meal turned out fabulous, I thought. Anything I make with chicken tend to be as dry as the Sahara, but I didn't ruin it tonight. I think this is something that I'll make again. Joe was worried that it was too much trouble, but it honestly wasn't more trouble than anything else.

The day before, I threw together a Chinese Chicken Salad that was amazing. We ate on it for 2 days, and honestly I could eat it every day of my life. EVERY DAY.

(See, I can brag on doing well in the kitchen because its not an every day occurance - let me gloat a little!)

So, I spent an interesting afternoon in the grocery store the other day. My goal upon entering: get the basic needs for survival (i.e. eggs, produce, flank steak, baby food, etc) as well as ingredients for Chinese Chicken Salad and Szechuan Chicken. What made it so interesting was the fact that I had to go to the bathroom - badly - within 20 minutes of entering the store. "Damn," I thought, "Why me?" This was actually the second time I've had an emergency need to use the restroom in a Kroger in two weeks. Last time was in town, and I had Joey with me, and didn't know what to do with him while I used the facilities - and Joe was close enough to leave work and jet over to help me. This time - not so much luck. I was with Joey, and a semi-full cart of food, but no Joe. We were in a neighboring town, 30 min away - and I was on my own. Uggggghhhhh.... that meant I had to carry him into the filthy bathroom and figure out how to juggle him and using the bathroom at the same time without getting his little hands on everything.

I wheeled my cart toward the bathroom. I asked the pharmacy next to the bathroom if I could leave my cart there while I used the restroom. "Yeah, of course." I really wanted to ask if I could take my cart into the bathroom with me, but I knew they wouldn't let me, plus, what's worse - juggling Joey, or knowing that my cart of groceries was in a nasty bathroom. I decided groceries in the bathroom much more gagging, and that I can always wash JOey's hands, if need be.

I pulled Joey out of the cart, grabbed my purse (another thing to juggle - thank goodness I could put that on the hook - hopefully it wasn't one of those stalls that the hook had been ripped down), and went in.

I found the handicapped stall. That way if Joey decided to get touchy feely, the walls were spaced a little farther apart. I thought about strapping him into the diaper changer but it was outside the stalls, and it was nasty, so no. Joey was just going to have to stay in my arms while I did everything else one-handed.

FOr my first trick - untying the draw string on my pants. Should be easy. right? Especially one handed. WRONG. The dad gum thing knotted up as I pulled one side of the string. I laughed out loud. "Really?? You're kidding," I said. "Where's the camera?" Joey was actually pretty calm through all this - just sucking his little thumb and glancing around the stall. But when I laughed, he giggled too and grabbed my face, thinking I was laughing at him. This made me laugh even more. The whole situation was just funny.

Finally, I was able to untie the knot and unbutton my pants. Next trick, pulling them down each side a few inches at a time. I finally managed, and sat down. Hovering was not an option this time with Joey in one arm. Yick.

The toilet paper dispenser was junk. Plenty of paper (for once) but the dispenser was next to being as dirty as the toilet bowl itself and it was broken - which meant that it the access panel kept coming unlatched and falling on us. After several frustrating attempts to snap it back on I finally gave it one last shove, and it made a noise so loud, Joey cringed and almost cried. "I'm so sorry, buddy. This stupid thing is broken." He regained his little composure, popped his thumb back in his mouth, and continued to observe. The dispenser again, fell on us. He tried to help me put it back up, but I was adamently pulling his hands away so he wouldn't touch it.

By that time, I didn't have to go anymore. I had held it enough that my body was in "survival" mode. I decided to try to do "business" anyway, and quickly, and be on our way.

Done. I next had to figure out how to redo all my tricks from before, only backwards. Pull up the pants. Button with one hand (much more difficult that it sounds...). Draw string - that was going to wait. As long as i could get everything else done, I could finish the string later.

Shifting Joey into my other arm (my left arm biceps were bulging and cramped at this point from carrying him), we exited the bathroom stall to head toward the faucets. Another lady had entered the bathroom and looked at us. "How you doin'?" I asked, and proceeded to turn on the faucet and wash each hand separately. She dove into a stall not saying a word, and Joey and I exited the bathroom. Once outside the door, I shivered a "GAWD that was NASTY" sort of twinge and put Joey back in the cart, tied my drawstring. I only prayed I didn't have to go again before we left... I had a lot more shopping to do. I'm still shocked that Joey was SO good through that whole ordeal. Didn't touch hardly ANYTHING! I'm not going to be so lucky when he's just a little older, I'm sure.

Was this post inappropriate? :) Hush, mom. :)