My Memorial Day Irony and a Goodbye to My Dear Friend

This night ..... oh this night. It is so ironic that memorial day was yesterday, and observed today.... so ironic.

I was just doing some research on some old friends that I hadn't heard from in a long time. I do that from time to time, to see if anyone has a myspace, or a blog, or any news about what they been up to - that sort of thing. I think of people in my past life that I've lost touch with as life has tugged us our separate ways, and every now and then, when someone comes to mind, I'll look them up.

Tonight, I looked up an old "boyfriend." He was more of a friend than anything, we discovered. We weren't "right" for each other. We were, but then we weren't. We lived two different lives, lived in two different cities, two different occupations. We were drawn to each other though at one point, but for the ultimate purpose, we discovered, was to encourage each other and be essentially, a friend.

His name was Rob Elortegui. He was a navy pilot. And I found out tonight .... that he was tragically killed in a Seahawk accident in September of 2005 off the coast of North Carolina. He was buried 2 days before my birthday. He was the only pilot to be identified in the accident.

My heart breaks. I remember the news, even now. But at that time, they didn't announce the name of the departed. Every time I would turn on the news, I would shutter at the headlines of fallen soldiers, especially navy pilots, as I knew Rob and many of his friends. I remember shuttering specifically at this news because I knew Rob was often off the coast of NC, flying, but it didn't occur to me that it could be him.

Joe used to make fun of me when I would come to work back then, right after I met Rob. I had fallen "in love" with this handsome, intelligent, navy pilot from Florida. I had met him at Autech base on St Andros Island in the Bahamas on one of our military tours. We connected instantly, and were inseparable the entire time I was in the Bahamas. Joe used to call him a "block head" and then laugh at me as I would get mad. It was all at my expense - not Rob's. He just wanted to see me riled up in Rob's defense.

A few weeks after we met and we had both returned to the states, we made plans immediately to meet again. I flew down over New Years to spend the holiday. We had a terrific weekend together. My favorite part of my visit was when all our walls came down and we talked about life. We talked about faith. Up until that point, I was searching for depth in his eyes, and I knew it was there, but he was so guarded, so protective, over his heart. He opened up to me in a way I don't think he had ever done with anyone.

He spoke of his hardships as a child. He was originally from Venezuela. (While we were together, he called his mom and grandmother 3 or 4 times, and spoke ONLY Spanish to them, as English was his second language, but one could never detect this in his fluent English dialect.) His mother and father divorced when he was young, and he and his younger brother were sent to live with his father and his new wife (or, wives, as it became over time, as divorce after divorce left Rob and his brother jossled around from family to family). Rob and his younger brother were mistreated severely by these rich entitled women who claimed Rob's father as their own
, and Rob and his brother were sent to live in the maid's quarters while the step children gained custody of the veloptuous absurdly rich homes. Rob's childhood was no less than a Cindarella story.

His mother had left Venezuela to pursue a law degree in the states. When Rob and his brother were in the mid teens, they were able to move to the states to live with her.

Rob told me of his faith. He said that if he hadn't have become a pilot, he would have become a priest. His faith was the only thing that brought him out of the wreckage of home.

His demeanor was one of gentleness. He was a gentle giant. His stature - just like Joe. A rock. Square jaw. Solid.

Joe, to this day, still picks on me about Rob. He knows that I fell hard for him, but our relationship was eventually translated into a beautiful friendship, as we realized our differences, chalked them up to good times, and agreed to stay in touch over time. Joe often says with a smile and chuckle, mostly in reference to Rob, "I have to watch out! I'm a goner if you catch eye of a Navy Pilot!" I always say "That's right baby! That's my WEAKNESS!!!"

The last time that Rob and spoke was late 2004. I would email him every now and again to check in and see how he was, and to see if he was getting lonely out on the high seas, as they would go out to sea for MONTHS at a time - sometimes up to 9 months solid. Sometimes I would hear back from him, but not often. After Joe and I got married, he crossed my mind every now and then, but of course, not all that often.

He crossed my mind out of nowhere yesterday, and tonight, I decided to take a second to google him.

My heart is broken, but I'm so glad that I found this out. He was a beautiful man - on the outside, yes. But on the inside - 1000 times more. You know, sometimes, I just don't understand why the Lord takes the good ones - the ones that touch peoples' lives and hearts, simply by just "being."

My friend Rob ... I know you are in heaven tonight. I know that with every ounce of my being, and I'm so, so happy that you are with our God. Rest in eternal peace my friend......