Moody Scanner

I'm wrestling a moody scanner this morning. I'm learning how to build websites (Ang, I know you are going to tell me to STOP NOW before it ruins me! haha!) and I'm putting a temporary site together for my mom and her art work. I've been scanning her art work little by little and there is this one picture that my damn scanner keeps cutting short. I'm about to show it who's boss....

I bought a journal the other day. I really like it. I collect journals, and this one has a unique look to it. Two things that bug me about it: (1) it has lines. I'm not a fan of lines because I feel like lines tend to hinder creativity and thought. Surprising that I would think that way with as OCD as I am. Ok, i'm just borderline OCD. And (2) I bought this journal at Office Depot. That REALLY bothers me to know that there are probably about 100,000 other journals out there that look just like it. I typically like eclectic unique journals that are not mass produced and sold in a chain store. But I like the way this looks. It has a really classy design in a mohogany colored cover. Its "majestic" in its own way. I'll just have to pretend that there's not more than 3 other journals like it out there. I have journal that I'm using now for my more personal writings thats handmade, that I picked up in Spain. A few years ago, when I started writing, my brother gave me an amazing journal that was all natural paper with a brown suade cover. After I filled that journal to the brim (about 300 pages), i started another journal given to me by my friend Ryan and Tyler Rygmyr that was a beautiful rainbow-colored journal. I started my "spanish" journal after I filled that one up. I have several others that i'm debating on using next, but I really like this Office Depot one. I dunno....

I'm going to go visit Mammaw today, Joe's grandmother. A few weeks ago she tripped and broke her arm and she's just been miserable ever since. She's 90 and active as ever, and to sit and just "wait" for her arm to heal is just driving her crazy. Joey and I are going to go try to cheer her up for the afternoon.

TOnight, Joe and I are going on a date. Believe it or not, its been about 5 months since we went on our last "date." So much has gone down in the last few months that its prevented us from taking time for us. Now that we are settled in, and we have a friend to babysit for the evening, we're going to go see a movie. I'm nervous about leaving Joey though.... last time we left him, he was about 4 or 5 months old. Now he's almost 9 months old, and he has a little bit of, what they call "attachment" issues. haha We'll see how this works. I think he'll be ok. We're not even going to dinner - just a 2 hour movie - but we have to drive 30 min to the theatre, unlike where we lived in Nashville where we could practically walk to the theatre. That's alright....just like living in Iowa again. ha!

I'll call this post "Wednesday August 22"

I had a strange brief dream this morning. I don't think it had much meaning, but maybe? It was kind of silly really. I dreamed that I was standing in my bathroom brushing my hair and water just started pouring out of my vent overhead. I stood and thought about the layout of the part of the house above me, and guessed that it was air conditioning, and that the pipes had frozen up, or the whole entire unit was a block of ice, and it had just thawed all of a sudden and came pouring out on top of me, and now my bathroom was filling up with water.

Then I woke up.

I'm going to have to read up on that. I've had dreams in the past (scary ones) where buildings that I was in were filling up with water.

On to other news, Joey pulled himself up today without mommy assistance. I was there to spot him if needed, but he was strong and decided he didn't need my help. I couldnt' believe it. Then he did it again on his own. He has a little radio flyer wagon "walker" that's supposed to help him learn to walk - and yes its working. He holds on tight and I'll move it forward ever so slightly, and he struggles, but then steps forward with it. I don't know if he'll be walking by the time he's one, but we'll be off to a great start.


Joe's been golfing. He was yesterday and today. He's not a big golfer, but he's had to with his new job, as to have some "buddy" time with the corporate office, and to get to know them. They tee off so late in the day. I miss him when he's gone that long. I guess I should be used to it by now, as sometimes he'd be gone for days on the road.

We leave Saturday morning for Iowa to visit my family. I'm looking forward to it. Joe's not going to be with me 80% of the time, which makes me nervous. Although I'll be with family, I'm not going to have much help with Joey. I should manage ok, I hope. I'm excited to my friend Addie. She's pregnant and I haven't had a chance to hug her neck in a while! When we get back on Labor Day, we'll be heading for Nashville the following weekend for Heather's baby shower. She's due in November. I think I started a trend with my friends. haha! :) I'm excited for both of them.

Not sure when Joe and I will try for another baby. I need to be mentally ok for another one, and I'm just not sure I'm there yet. The events of this year have delayed some post partum i'm experiencing now, so i think we better wait for a little while. I do want Joey to have a little playmate though. The Lord will time it right.

PS Maria :) That upside down chicken in the background would scare anyone! :) Its actually one of about 6 puppets i have "clothes-hanged" from JOey's Pet Net. He likes to look at them when i'm changing him, but you know what - I'm thinking it might have a psycho affect on him later in life. haha!

Doo Rags and PJs

You all knew it was coming .... it was just a matter of time.

Friday

Yes it is.

Thats all I got to say about that.

Crawling the Line

Yesterday, Joey finally perfected the art of crawling - so today, he had to wear the appropriate shirt. :)

The Best of Intentions

An anonymous poster wrote me last night asking us about the relationships in our lives, and if we make efforts to show love to those that are only readily in our lives, and if we have possibly shunned others because of possible gossip chains. Also it was asked if we took the time to think about our commitment to developing our relationships, and if we just worked on them when we had "time."

Thank you for your comment. I can honestly say that this is something that rambles through my mind at all times. ALL TIMES.

TO have a relationship go awry causes my world to collapse around me. I speak as if life is not full of ebbs and flows of people who come in and out of ones life like the tide hitting the beach. THere's no chance of experiencing life without such changes, and such heartache. I've always looked at the relationship between people as special - and that if we were stripped of everything that this world has, we would have only one "thing" - each other. So when I have a relationship that takes a turn for the worse, whether simple conflict or complete separation, my heart breaks and my chest feels like its caving inward.

I've tried all my life to have the purest of intentions with people. My heart is not capable of having it any other way. And maybe that was to my own misfortune thinking that everyone might possibly have the same pure intentions. And I believe that this is where most of our relationships HAVE in fact gone wrong. Joe and I feel that we do show love to those in our lives, and we make every effort to be inviting and loving to those we just met, or come into contact with occasionally. If we've ever come across differently, I can promise our intentions were misunderstood. When it comes to those who we don't know personally, I'm more open to striking up conversations with, or inviting into our lives than Joe is. Joe is more cautious about people than I am, and so he has to remind me that not everyone on earth has the same pure intention, and that some people you have to hold at arms length to protect yourself, and most of all your family, as there are more snakes in the grass than not. And unfortunately, we HAVE been taken advantage of, but I'm so quick to forgive and forget. Its a tough balance, and I'm not sure I'll even understand the "right" way to do it.

I have had to in the past, as all do at some point, had to bring to end abusive or unhealthy relationships. And yes, it even pained me then. I've prayed at every instance that the Lord guide me, and the other person, to understand the need to prune, and for the strength to understand and trust those reasons why.

Now - about "shunning" people for the sake of gossip - I pray that I have never done this. And if I have, please forgive me. I have been the subject of many a hurtful completely untrue chatter, enough to the point of irrepair. I have rearranged my entire life because of being shunned myself. I'm talking HURTFUL DESTRUCTIVE LIES. So gossip to me is not a factor in selecting friends, or the determinate of how I treat my friends.

As for having TIME, this is where my heart pains me the most. My husband and I, as individuals before we were married, as well as since we've been married, have wrestled between maintaining relationships and managing shortness of time for as long as we can remember. When I was in highschool, and college, I was NOT a student of good grades, but I will never say I didn't try as hard as I could - but yes, my relationships suffered immensely. I was riding on my own money and my folks money for a good education, with the weight of the world on my shoulders to do well in school, and that meant long, hard hours with my head in the books. And if I wasn't studying, I never once (in highschool and in college) had less than 2 jobs, trying to survive. Once I was out of school - what a relief THAT was as I was able to spend more time with the folks i had neglected for so long. But then once again, after school, it was short amount of time until I was married and in a family business with Joe. And let me tell you - the intensity of time shortness was unbearable. The art of survival in our business meant 24/7 working, on call day and night, becoming a "forward" thinker for an artist that had nothing going on, and if our artist survived, then WE COULD EAT. If not, then we would wonder how to survive the next week. We worked DAY and NIGHT making stuff up for our artist to do to make it look like he could be worth something to the industry - and I have to admit, we did a pretty damn good job. But only to our dismay - with our business being stolen out from under us (another story). But we did what we had to do to SURVIVE. It was all or nothing. And soon, we found out that we did what we had to do, to make it to where we are now. In our business it was all or nothing. And the relationships we had during that time were solid. We didn't have a lot of time to cater to them, but what we could do, we did, and they understood our situation. And I still have some friends fighting for their chance in that business - one was my maid of honor in our wedding - and I hear from her maybe once every 6 months - but I know the bond we have, and we still work towards maintaining our relatinoship, even if its just leaving a "hey, i'm thinking about you" on each other's voicemail. So I think the ones that are truely solid will stay and understand. The ones that don't understand will move on. But I can tell you, if anyone has ever needed us for anything, we were there - or at least we did our level best - whether it was an illness, a death, a break up, or even a celebration - we dropped what we could and were there.

Anyway, this is getting too long, and Joey's only going to be alseep for a few more moments. We try - and we have the purest of intentions, through hurt and joy. We live and learn, and yes, my friend Ray, again you are right - the prices are steep in everything we do, and the price of friendship is one to be mindful of at ALL times.

I might have more to write on this later....

Splish Splash

Its about 211 degrees here, so Joey and I hit the pool. Don't say anything about our yard in the background. We'll be cutting it soon. haha! its just too damn hot. :)

Be The Best

My favorite teacher in the world is a man named Mr Charlie Huff. He is absolutely a golden human being. It would take me a year to speak about his accomplishments, but his biggest, most pronounced accomplishment was his demeanor toward the people he came across in life. He is soft spoken, wise, witty, ornry, and compassionate. I learned more than just organic chemistry from this man. I learned about life and respect.

Anyway, on my graduation day from highschool, there are a lot of things I remember, but the one thing that stands out to me the most is the little gift that he and Mrs Huff gave to me. It was a printed out copy of a little poem, placed in this humble little plastic frame. The poem ..... Be The Best, by Douglas Malloch. Its stuck with me for all these years..... great meaning of life. Enjoy...

BE THE BEST

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley--but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.

If you can't be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway some happier make;
If you can't be a muskie then just be a bass--
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here.
There's big work to do and there's lesser to do,
And the task we must do is the near.

If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or you fail--
Be the best of whatever you are!

Ab machines and other things

Breathing a big sigh of disgust, after flipping through my direct TV channels, I couldnt' find some cartoons to entertain Joey for 10 minutes while I ran around doing some chores, I landed on a channel that was described inthe "finder" as something to the effect of "Get A Bikini Body Today" or something like that.

They were advertising a machine to work your inner thighs in order to increase your "sex appeal."

I have about 30 channels going to waste on my TV (and probably your TV too) that are all about the next best machine that will make you "sexy" and "attractive" and "fit for wearing a bikini." And if they aren't advertising machines, its some magic hyper-metabolic pill to burn the fat while you watch the commercial.

Looking attractive is good and all .... and maybe I'm just ranting about something that's just already known - but it just disgusted me today, how much our society is focused on the "sex appeal" of being fit, instead of the "utility" of being fit. No wonder anorexia and bulemia are the mental diseases of the century of our young people. No wonder our internet is full of smut, and our sex offenders run more rampant than ever. Sex appeal is featured every where, and its tangible and visible and accessible. Therefore, more unnatural acts of sex are being experimented with and pushed upon our young people (children and teenagers).

ANyway, I could go off on a big tangent about what's wrong with our sex driven world, but what i was getting at in the first place is that all these "get fit" ads are all about sex, and not about utility.

I want to work at staying fit, but not only because I want to stay attractive for my husband - but because there's work to be done around this house that a mealy person couldn't do without muscle. And for crying out loud, JOey isn't getting any lighter, and there's no one else around but ME to lift him.

TO stay in shape for "looks" only, which is what our marketing world stuffs in our brains is the most unhealty way to approach "sexy." You pump yourself full of chemicals from magic pills, and look at "goal" images for your body and where does that leave you - depressed, and discouraged, and most of the time, out of reality. Calistenics alone and 20 minutes of running, swimming or walking a day will get your heart and mind right, and make you sexy and confident in your own way - AND most of all HEALTHY in mind, body and spirit.

Funky haired thumb suckers

Need I say more?

Smart People

So sayeth the sign.

Welcome to Lake Azar

This is our backyard when it rains. Even if its a tiny rain (unlike the day I took this picture), we still can't let the dogs out the back door. Kind of funny huh.

What a week for the little man

Joey's had one heck of a week. He's all growed up.

Lets see - where to start:

Well, last THursday, I had him down on his hands and knees, trying to see if I could give him a few crawling pointers. He almost had it - but then instead, figured out how to sit up on his own from his hands and knees position. I was amazed. I didn't quite think he had it all down because he was a little shaky, not really knowing how and where to put his little arms to stablize his weight, but he proved me wrong on Friday afternoon when I went to get him after his nap, and he was sitting straight up in bed. Gooooood work. Now's he just been showing off.

Now that he knows how to sit up on his own, he's been doing it CONSTANTLY. I can't get him to lay down anymore unless he's REALLY tired. He just pops right back up, and laughs.

Next, he's been climbing on me a lot when I hold him. He's been standing on me and pulling himself up using his hands on my shoulders with his feet on my lap. Well - the other day, I walked in to get him after his nap again, and he had one knee propped up, one hand on a crib slat, and his other arm slung over the side of the crib, trying to lift himself up.

We lowered his crib that night.

His little personality has come busting out this week too. He's been so reactive and respondent to everything around him already of course, but MAN, this week is unreal. He's imitating, and coming up with crazy noises and funny faces. He's a sticky fingered little sucker and can't keep his hands off things. Anything with buttons he wants to grab. He'll sit up in his play pen and study all the items up close. He stares into a mirror and talks. He talks to the dogs. He's just over the top. I have tons of pictures to post, but I'm tired. Heading to bed.

Annie's coming to visit us this weekend. I CAN NOT WAIT!!!! Oh, so many crazy stories to blog on Monday.... :)

Hockey ... One of the things I'm gonna miss.

You know, i was cruising through some of my phone pictures today and caught a glimpse of some of these great moments in Nashville Predator hockey history that Joe and I were fortunate to witness. There's nothing like a great hockey fight.... check this out. At one point, EVERYONE on the ice was one-on-one, knocking the heck out of each other....



And the next moment, everyone is in TROUBLE!!! Nothing on the ice, but sticks and helmets.



If anyone out their watches or keeps up with Predator Hockey, it was Jordin Too Too who started it - surprise, surprise.

Check this out - another great moment - 4 in the can!!!



Aside from hockey being our great date night, I'm just going to miss the fun. I just got used to the game (didn't take me long to fall in love with it, especially with the killer seats we had). We may have to cruise back for a game and take Joey. He'll LOVE IT!!!!